Elder Cook and his brother deeply respected their father and decided to talk about their father's advice. This brings up another matter that needs to be addressed: missionaries at Church historical sites must be taught how to discuss the topic of Mormon polygamy because it is inevitable it will be brought up by curious visitors. . I felt like I was contagious, and I think that they thought I was!, Church is a family-orientated organization, and when your family splits, it is difficult to find your place., A simple smile or hello . Brian C. Hales, on the other hand, in an excellent essay, Joseph Smith and the Puzzlement of Polyandry, in The Persistence of Polygamy, 99151, offers a compelling argument for the proposition that Joseph Smiths polyandrous marriages were non-sexual and were eternity only sealings. Regular interaction with your children should remain a high priority, regardless of distance or remarriage. 57. [Have] concern for my children, especially Young Men and priesthood leaders. Growing up, Elder Richard G. Scott's mother was a less-active member and his father did not belong to the Church. It is human nature, explained one Mormon blogger, to choose aspects of our past that we feel define us. WebRulon Jeffs was a leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. That would be incorrect, divorced men can be bishops. I asked my husband. In my experience as a counselor, I found that, although much of what men and women experience in divorce is the same, there are some differences: While still married, men are more likely to minimize the seriousness of marital problems. His mother remarried, but Elder Baxter's stepfather was "not a good man" and times were difficult(Elder David S. Baxter, "Finding Hope in a Troubled Family," August 2015 "New Era"). In contrast, Craig L. Foster, David Keller, and Gregory L. Smith use both history and a statistical review of Mormon and non-Mormon marriage practices in Illinois and neighboring Iowa to demonstrate that marriage to teenage women was not uncommon for the place and time in which Joseph Smith lived, nor was it considered pedophilia: The Age of Joseph Smiths Plural Wives in Social and Demographic Context, in The Persistence of Polygamy, 15283. Nate Oman on Jeffs, August 25, 2011. This and other facts about plural marriage need to be understood by Latter-day Saints, so information and specific detail regarding the theology and practice of plural marriage need to be provided at the appropriate time and place. Would a menace make a good Bishop? For some of our youth, the shock is too traumatic for their tender testimonies. WebIn their examination of the divorce rate within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, using both civil and temple marriages combined, McClendon and Chadwick Just do your best. Some noted that they asked for a break because of the new demands they faced after their divorce. Elder Cook also served a mission from 1960 to 1962, serving in the British Mission with Elder Jeffrey R. Holland as one of his companions. Clear editor. Plural marriage continued to be practiced in the open until the anti-polygamy persecution of the 1880s and the issuance of the Manifesto in 1890. When I suggested to a volunteer at Church Hosting that we take the guests to the Beehive House, she immediately said, Oh you dont want to do that., I asked why not and she gave a nervous laugh and said, Well, you know., She gave another nervous laugh and repeated, You know. She continued, They might ask questions.. WebMy Home Donations Temple Appointments Leader and Clerk Resources Missionary Portal Ward Directory and Map Calendar Meetinghouse Locator Notes Patriarchal Blessing All Tools. WebFor Latter-day Saint children of divorce, questions like this can add to the sadness and uncertainty that divorce brings. "This letter is an internal document. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf was just 4 years old the first time his family fled their home, leaving everything behind. The idea that plural marriage will be practiced in the celestial kingdom, the highest degree of salvation in Mormon theology, probably elicits more comments and reaction from the women of the LDS Church than any other aspect of plural marriage. Joseph Walker, Sarandon Calls Pope a Nazi, Maher Calls Mormonism Ridiculous, Deseret News, October 20, 2011, accessed October 21, 2011, https://www.deseret.com/2011/10/20/20224517/sarandon-calls-pope-a-nazi-maher-calls-mormonism-ridiculous. Temples are some of the most beautiful places on earth, but the work that takes place inside of them is what makes them sacred. 17. I would think not.60, Not surprisingly, the ambivalence among even active, faithful Latter-day Saints regarding plural marriage continues. As already noted, Joseph Smith entered into plural marriage before the Nauvoo period. And, later, the priesthood/Relief Society lesson about Doctrine and Covenants section 132 discussed celestial marriage but did not mention plural marriage. These negative feelings increased when confronted with criticism of the Church on the subject of plural marriage. That is a significant number. 30. Ponder what kind of support you have been, are, and can be to those you know in the Church who have experienced or are experiencing a divorce. When my daughter heard about her friends shock at learning that Joseph Smith had plural wives, she said, You didnt know that? To find out more about how Latter-day Saints experience divorce, I surveyed more than 1,000 active members who have been divorced or are currently going through the process. Joseph Smiths marriages to teenagers have increasingly become a stumbling block to faithful members. 36. Two weeks after he returned from his mission, Elder Scott and Jeanene were sealed in the Manti Utah Temple. I know they're on there, cause i've done it before. Joseph engaged in one plural marriage with Fanny Alger in the 1830s. Answer. 41. I am not sure that those that faithfully practiced it many years ago would be with that conclusiondo you? The LDS believe: After the deaths of the Savior and His Apostles, men corrupted the principles of the gospel and made unauthorized changes in Church organization and priesthood ordinances. But sexual relations and procreation were only one aspect of plural marriage. No matter how hard the LDS Church may try to cut ties to its polygamous past, the two are irrevocably and inseparably tied to each other. Divorce was more prevalent in the early Church. Brigham Young had a well publicized divorce. This is, in This is the average score out of 7 for those support systems: Divorce is the second-most stressful life event, with death of a spouse being the most stressful, according to the Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory. Polygamy. Joseph Walker, Recent Events Highlight Confusion of Polygamy, Deseret News, August 6, 2011, accessed August 7, 2011, https://www.deseret.com/2011/8/6/20208124/recent-events-highlight-confusion-of-polygamy. If you worry that being supportive somehow condones something you don't approve of, remember that showing love does not mean you are condoning something. This will help you examine your own behavior and see things more accurately. In their examination of the divorce rate within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, using both civil and temple marriages combined, McClendon and Chadwick (2005) estimated that the current lifetime divorce rate for returned-missionary men to be approximately 12% and for returned-missionary women around 16%. It isnt surprising that modern members are ignorant of Mormon plural marriage and the context in which it was practiced, since the LDS Church has, in many ways, downplayed and even ignored its own history. 60. (That doesn't mean the policy doesn't exist, but that I've never seen it). Men tend to be action oriented, so they may be less inclined to seek counseling and instead bury their feelings by working long hours or immersing themselves in a hobby. Gains have been made since the days I observed palpable discomfort in missionaries and volunteers. Recent Events Highlight Confusion of Polygamy. For the actual presentation, see http://www.fairmormon.org/perspectives/fair-conferences/2011-fair-conference/2011-a-reconciliation-of-polygamy. Peggy Fletcher Stack, Poll: Most Still Unsure about Mormons and Polygamy, The Salt Lake Tribune, September 12, 2011, accessed September 13, 2011, http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/52568348-78/mormon-mormons-polygamy-percent.html.csp. On one hand, they were immensely proud of the sacrifices made by their pioneer ancestors, but as modern Americans and the very model of American family values, they were also uncomfortable with their heritage of socio-sexual experimentation. See Don Bradley, Mormon Polygamy before Nauvoo? Its in the handbook. 3. He served as the last administrator of the Aaronic Priesthood prior to the restoration of the Melchizedek Priesthood when Jesus Christ came. No, Divorce currently disqualifies a man from becoming a Bishop, Stake President, Seventy, Apostle or Prophet. Meet the Apostles. Anti-Mormon literature has portrayed Smith as sneaking around behind unsuspecting husbands backs and seducing willing women. Not surprisingly, many members have believed these unfortunate and mostly false accusations and stereotyping, in no small part because some historians have repeated and embraced them uncritically.8, Joseph Smiths involvement in so-called polyandrous marriages added to the image of him as a man with unbridled lust. A couple of years ago, I was talking with one of my daughters 16-year-old friends, a descendant of LDS polygamists, and mentioned Joseph Smiths plural wives. Web(Photo: KUTV) (KUTV) At least six people are suing the daughter and son-in-law of Russell M. Nelson, the president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Elder Oaks remarried after the passing of his wife. Elder Ruseel M. Nelson also remarrried after his first wife passed away. . Many, when they saw me coming, would look the other way, one participant shared. Details regarding this matter have been communicated to stake and mission presidents.". None of the 12 or the First Presidency have been divorced. "The train stopped, my mother went out and tried to get food," President Uchtdorf told KUTV. Copyright 2023 Deseret News Publishing Company. Since the time of the Manifesto, there has been suspicion that Latter-day Saints still practice plural marriage.15 Rumors and stereotyping of secret Mormon polygamous marriages have continued to the present, as news commentators and political pundits alike misconstrue and misrepresent LDS history and doctrine. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saintss uncomfortable relationship with its polygamous history is somewhat like an awkward marriage separation. They know they are in violation of the law. 53. In other words, you cannot be a bishop without the approval of the First Presidency. This has led to unansweredperhaps even unspokenquestions, as well as hurt feelings, insecurity, and resentment. Almost any discussion of the subject seems to be discouraged through a lack of mention in the manuals and public presentations. but we called it celestial marriage (Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 2008); and Richard S. Van Wagoner, Mormon Polygamy: A History (Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 1986). Sam Finley, Duck Football: From One Mission to Another, Eugene Daily News, September 16, 2011, accessed September 16, 2011, http://eugenedailynews.com/2011/09/16/duck-football-from-one-mission-to-another. These strenuous denials have continued to the present, in large part because of the negative publicity generated by Warren Jeffs, the FLDS, and other branches of Mormon fundamentalism. My unhappy family history will not be passed on" (Elder David S. Baxter, "Finding Hope in a Troubled Family," August 2015 New Era). Converts reactions varied, and for some the concept was difficult to accept. Church leaders were instructed to read the letter in LDS sacrament meetings. They interpret this lack of information as a species of lyingabout Joseph Smith, about other Church members polygamous past, or about the events which surrounded the cessation of Church-sanctioned plural marriage. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Third Hour Forum Rules - Please be familiar with these rules before posting. As President DieterF. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, taught: We must let go of our grievances. 21. All are alike unto God, and He invites all to come unto him and partake of his goodness (2 Nephi 26:33).Church leaders and members are often asked who can attend meetings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who can become Church members, and who can attend a 55. Valerie Hudson, A Reconciliation of Polygamy, presentation at the 2011 FAIR Conference, notes in possession of author. Finding Wholeness and Happiness after Divorce. 26. She surely was one of the many noble women who have lived in the latter days (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, "What are Prophets and Apostles: Elder Dallin H. Oaks,"lds.org). Many others had a different reason for their change in calling. Another active Latter-day Saint responded: Are you suggesting that what is making you pleased is the denial of relationships in the Celestial Kingdom? After her death, Elder Oaks's mother was remembered for her civic and Church service. Church policy, however, does have a preference to married men as bishops. They just wanted to help., Member friends primarily provided support around the spiritual connection that could not be found with non-members. If you keep your covenants, your relationships in the next life will be fair and right. This non-Mormon perception of Latter-day Saints is more prevalent than many members of the Church realize. By Approximately 20 percent of the Catholic men and 23 percent of the women have been divorced. Since few anticipate plural marriages return, and even fewer hope for it, the estranged partners are not getting back together. TRUTH: Scripture shows that God gives permission for divorce. At the 2011 FAIR Conference, Hudson gave a presentation describing plural marriage as an Abrahamic sacrifice, or an exception to Gods law rather than an eternal principle.52 Her conference presentation, titled A Reconciliation of Polygamy, was based on an earlier article of hers titled Polygamy. Hudson claimed that in the eternities we will have the privilege of living under the law, not the exception to the law.53 She further referred to the belief, which she felt was mostly held by male members of the Church, as nothing more than celestial lust.54 In her article, she also made comments regarding modern Latter-day Saint beliefs about the eternal nature of plural marriage: If cultural misinterpretations cause the women and men of the Church to mourn over polygamy, either because they mistakenly believe that God is indifferent between sacrifice and non-sacrifice and so no escape from this sacrifice will be provided by God or because they are led to believe that they are selfish and not [Page 66]righteous if they feel pain at the thought of polygamy, then these cultural interpretations are actively harming our people. Unlike Warren Jeffs and a small minority of polygamists, most Fundamentalist Mormons are quiet, law-abiding (other than practicing polygamy) people of good report who generally blend in with the rest of society and who have no desire to attract attention to themselves or their religious practices. Furthermore, if she had been learning about the Churchs polygamous history in the youth Sunday School programs, she would have had a better foundation on which to stand. When there are problems in different places around the world over difficult subjects like plural marriage, such as the recent apostasy problems in Sweden, leadership could then place even more emphasis on the education of its members in those specific places. . The Church and its defenders have begun to take steps to inoculate members against the insidious attacks of critics and enemies. This shaken feeling can leave a divorced man uncomfortable with Church attendance, especially if he believes that others are assuming he has been unfaithful to his wife. As the two started dating, Jeanene told Elder Scott, When I marry, it will be in the temple to a returned missionary.. There is gospel wisdom in Proverbs 22:6: Train up a child in the way they should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. This gospel principle certainly includes learning about Church history and doctrine. Church spokesman Don LeFevre had little comment on the letter. Craig L. Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic: Latter-day Saints and Popular Polygamy Stereotypes, Foundation for Apologetic Information and Research, accessed January 20, 2014, http://www.fairmormon.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/2010-Craig-Foster.pdf. I will join the Church when I know it is the right thing to do'" (Elder David A. Bednar, "The Powers of Heaven," lds.org). As interesting as the survey statistics were, the most fascinating parts of the survey data were the respondent comments. Is that true? I thought he was joking. Most definitely not true. The only safe path through a divorce is to remain true to the gospel. Brigham Young had a well publicized divorce. The author would like to thank Suzanne L. Foster, Brian C. Hales, Laura Hales, and Gregory L. Smith for their help with this paper. Latter-day Saints should remember that while there are certainly non-members who want to attack, criticize, or simply make fun of the Churchs polygamous past, there are many who are genuinely curious and who mean neither harm nor insult. For examples of numerous press releases and public statements regarding past and modern plural marriage, see The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Newsroom: The Official Resource for News Media, Opinion Leaders and the Public, http://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/search-results.xqy?q=polygamy&x=0&y=0. Regardless of who was at greater fault in your divorce, healing wont come until there is repentance and forgiveness. WebThis is a list of well-known Mormon dissidents or other members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) who have either been excommunicated or On a positive note, the LDS Church has recently taken a more active approach to interpreting and defining its polygamous past. Your previous content has been restored. Eternal plural marriage would be in the future, and, for some Latter-day Saint women, that makes it a very dark future. After that, the practice again went underground and was once more surrounded by a veil of secrecy which made it even more difficult to completely stop.5, Unfortunately, the obfuscation which attended the beginning and end of the official practice of plural marriagenecessary though it wasprovided ammunition for anti-Mormons and anxiety for modern Church members. Nate Oman on Jeffs and Modern Mormonism, e-mail correspondence, August 25, 2011. Together, they made the harrowing journey past Russian guards patrolling the border to West Germany until they were safely reunited with the rest of President Uchtdorf's family. For examples of Mormon polygamy defining western polygamy, see Jessica Ravitz, Sister Wives explained: A fundamentalist Mormon polygamy primer, CNN Belief Blog, October 25, 2010, (accessed February 22, 2014); http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/10/25/sister-wives-explained-a-fundamentalist-mormon-polygamy-primer/; Michael E. Price, Are People Naturally Polygamous? Psychology Today, August 18, 2011, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/darwin-eternity/201108/are-people-naturally-polygamous-0 (accessed February 22, 2014); and W.W., Polygamy Now! The Economist, June 28, 2013, (accessed February 22, 2014), http://www.economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2013/06/slippery-slopes. 12. Teenage wives. At the time, Elder Cook's father was a less-active member and thought Elder Cook's older brother, Joe, should pursue a career in the medical field instead of serving a mission. 19. It was reported that at the time of Jeffs' death at age 92 that he may have had as many as 75 wives and 65 children; however, conflicting sources indicate that Jeffs may have been survived by 19 or 20 wives and "about 60 children," including 33 sons. I told them I would be glad to answer any question they had. These details (in part) caused me to lose my testimony.40. No they can't. Its in the handbook. I don't know if divorced men can be branch presidents though.applepansy However, the couple experienced tragedy about five years after their marriage. The time or times of such sacred education needs a little more explanation. We are indeed turning a corner finally.57. Hamani Stevens of the University of Oregon football team recounted how the usual misconception [Page 53]about Mormonism is that we all believe in polygamy.19 That mistaken perception is compounded and exploited by merchandizers like Wasatch Brewery in Park City that sells Polygamy Porter, a beer whose advertisement invokes a polygamy theme, asking Why have just one? Along with the beer, they sell polygamy-themed merchandise. The ultimate purpose of all we teach is to unite parents and children in faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, that they are happy at home, sealed in an eternal marriage.1 In spite of this inspired teaching from President BoydK. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, divorces take place. WebElder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, There are many good Church members who have been divorced and reiterated that unless a divorced The Browns then moved to Las Vegas, where they continue to produce their show.12 Not to be outdone, the Darger family [Page 51]published Love Times Three: Our True Story of a Polygamous Marriage.13 They took to the talk show circuit to describe their lifestyle and went so far as to suggest they were the inspiration for the family on Big Love. Given the Dargers soap opera adventures, this might be a rather dubious honor. Unfortunately, over time there have been a number of members of the Church who have been upset and offended about aspects of plural marriage, especially the so-called weird aspects. In fact, some have left the Church specifically because of this issue. With simple explanations, children become aware of this aspect of Church history without being overly burdened by all of the complexities. But heres a fact you need to know: children can be sealed to only two parents. Do they still classify unmarried men over the age of 25 as "menaces to society"? Given how central the family is in Church doctrine, divorce in the Latter-day Saint community is a sensitive and complicated issue. But I've had the experience of providing all those ordinances for my dad," Elder Bednar said, years after his family was sealed for eternity in the temple. 16. That sounds [Page 52]like The Prime Directive in Star Trek.16 Is there any wonder a 2011 poll undertaken by a California polling company found that almost half of those polled thought Mormons either definitely or probably practice polygamy?17. E-mail correspondence between [anonymous] and Craig L. Foster, August 14, 2011. . Gordon B. Hinckley, What Are People Asking About Us? Ensign (November 1998): 70. 13. Elder DallinH. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Divorce, Ensign, May 2007, 71. Our Father in Heaven loves His children. Her expression approximated that of a deer in the headlights, and she replied, Well, his wife., I finally realized that she did not want to discuss Brighams plural wives, especially if I was accompanied by non-members, so I dropped the subject.30, This experience is likely not an anomaly. It says: "Effective immediately, a man who has been previously sealed and later divorced, who desires to be married and sealed in the temple must first obtain a clearance from the First Presi-den-cy. We spoke for at least 45 minutes during which time I was very open and honest about aspects of plural marriage, including my own familys history. This is, in part, because of the fitful, painful cessation of plural marriage and the ever present reminders of its complicated past. For that matter, it may not even be as important to Saints residing in the eastern parts of Canada and the United States as it is to those residing in the western United States. The next morning, Joe approached his father and bore his testimony, earning his father's support to serve a mission. I believe there is a strong case that he once was, and my conclusion comes from Pauls words in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9. It should be placed within historical and theological context and be available as resource material for Saints with questions or for those who need to respond to questions. Jeffs, in a way, is practicing what Joseph practiced. 47. Married or widowed are okay. No they can't. The midwestern United States also had a good representation, as did Canada (especially western Canada). It is television shows and books like these that confuse non-Mormons. FinancialSpecial5787 1 yr. ago. He works as a Mental Health Clinician for Ktunaxa/Kinbasket Child & Family Services, and as needed for LDS Family Services in the East Kootenay's. There is more of a stigma associated with it. In a message to divorced members, Dr. Swinton continues, If you have experienced divorce, don't beat yourself up or feel you are lesser in any way. David Grua, From Embrace to Embarrassment: Remembering Joseph Smiths Polygamy, The Juvenile Instructor (November 2, 2007), accessed August 24, 2011, http://www.juvenileinstructor.org/from-embrace-to-embarrassment-remembering-joseph-smiths-polygamy/. Often times in our anxiety to live Gods commandments, we focus on everything we should avoid to remain righteous. 67. Interpreter Foundation is not owned, controlled by or affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Death, war, financial insecurity, divorce, Church inactivity, there are many circumstances that can shake a family to its core and try each family member's testimony. Elder Baxter later served two years as a missionary in theScotland Edinburgh Mission and served as abishop, counselor in a stake presidency, stake president, counselor in a mission presidency, and as an Area Seventy. About 78.7% of Muslim divorcees are women; for Hindus, this figure is From the 1840s to the present, anti-Mormon literature has accused Church leaders and members of immorality and lasciviousness, [Page 48]with suggestions that Joseph Smith started plural marriage to cover-up his own adulterous affairs.6 The 1840s saw some early purveyors of the lustful and lascivious stereotype in the supposed insider exposs of John C. Bennett and the Van Dusens.7 Ironically, some of these clichd stereotypes are still being used today. I thanked her and hung up, amazed at the extent of her embarrassment and effort to avoid the subject.31, This palpable discomfort with polygamy is shared by regular members of the Church. E-mail correspondence between [anonymous] and Craig L. Foster, February 17, 2012. Most of them have never been members. The confusion and conflict began with the secrecy and prevarication of Joseph Smith when he revealed plural marriage to a trusted circle of the Nauvoo elite.4 Plural marriage was not openly practiced until after the Saints left Illinois and were safely ensconced in the Great Basin of the western United States. winsted, ct funeral homes, chris gordon racing pigeons, going the distance farmer's daughter,
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